Friday, April 24, 2009

Funny Friday

How Men Can Avoid Shopping

Banned from Wal-Mart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,In the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato Juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


jennykate77 said...

Too funny!

Thanks for the laugh! Hope you're having a fabulous Friday!

Carrie said...

Lol so funny thanks for sharing!

Have a great weekend!


Leah said...

So funny!

jenjen said...

That is hilarious! My kids love hiding in those clothes rounders whenever we go shopping!


PS - Have a super weekend my friend!!!

Kim said...

That is really funny! I loved it! Thanks for sharing.

He And Me + 3 said...

That is too funny..I was just cracking up over here.

Heather said...

that's hilarious! thank you so much for sharing!

i consider myself very luck to be with a man who enjoys shopping almost as much as i do. :o)

have a wonderful weekend!

Pam said...

That is so funny. I want to try some of those things just to see what happens. LOL
Have a great weekend.

Xazmin said...

Hi Rhonda! I feel like I haven't been by in forever!

These are really funny!

Hope you have an awesome weekend!

momma said...

i am laughing so hard, tears are coming out!!!!

thank you for sharing this!!!

Your Frugal Friend, Niki said...

Thanks for the laughs!